Lornas Distractions.

Lanzarote plantage and a mural of a sea turtle

2012-01-05T14:39:00.003Z

That is all.

As true as steel, as plantage to the moon.

Shakespeare

Because being a Hipster is cool

Opaque

2011-11-16T01:57:00.002Z

Its been too bloody long since I've posted anything, so here is a few pictures from a project I'm working on.

Ass no questions

2011-02-13T17:27:00.000Z

View from my neigh'borros' garden

Relaxing Screams

2011-01-08T17:15:00.002Z

There I was relaxing in a salt bath surrounded by candles, being unemployed can be so stressful, listening to whale songs. Not my own CD of whale songs you understand, I like trees and all, but listening to animal calls and babbling brooks is a new age too far. It does fit into the general ambiance of a spa though, so as I splashed about thinking how lovely it all was even though there wasn't a cup of tea in sight. Tea enhances all experiences. FACT. I began to think about why whale calls and the like are considered relaxing. I mean do you know what they're saying? Probably not gossiping about the latest eastenders episode or anything, but could they could be calling for help, as their baby gets eaten by a pod of killer whales. And sea gulls, whats so bloody relaxing about a seagull call? As these and other random thoughts about animal calls ran through my mind the relaxing bath began to change into a test of endurance and then 'The lonely shepard" by Zamfir came on, all wind pan pipes and whistling.....whistling.... hang on. That was it, relaxing bath totally ruined, images of gore of Tarintinoesque like proportions skipped merrily through my brain, by the time the beautician came back in I was convinced it was Daryl Hannah. Relaxing spa my aching back.

Edit, forgotten unpublished post from December 2009

Your Lucky Day

2010-10-08T17:13:00.002+01:00

Your Lucky Day from Dan on Vimeo.
A megaball drawing sends a convenience store spiraling out of control.

Civilization by Marco Brambilla

2010-08-30T19:15:00.000+01:00

I could look at this for hours
You can see more of his wok here

Civilization by Marco Brambilla from CRUSH on Vimeo.

Ah sleepless nights

2010-08-25T01:27:00.000+01:00

You bring me so much fun
THe ugly Dance

The step Robot is my favourite

The Count Censored

2010-07-04T01:07:00.000+01:00

Coaxing and cajoling

2010-07-01T01:25:00.001+01:00

Go on ya will.... sure everyones doing it
Le cool Magazine
Always read the small print
PhotoIreland
Johnny Savage
Richard Gilligan
Just Lolo

Home Exhibition

2010-06-28T20:00:00.000+01:00

No more paper work, no more pigeon shite, no more endless phone calls and re-edits. Its in the bag, on its way, finished, finito, caput....Well the months of preparation have finally paid off and you are most welcome to join me and my fellow photographers at our opening night. If only to calculate how many years its added to my visage!
Its gonna be brillo pads.

Site Unseen

2010-06-01T18:25:00.002+01:00

I've been manically shooting for the exhibition for the last few weeks. Its all grey skies and doom, shockingly enough Ireland's been delivering crappy weather as needs. Thank you crap Irish weather system. Its all about the Unfinished estates and buildings that litter Ireland. So something nice and cheery for yas.

New GALLERY WEBSITE

2010-06-01T17:43:00.005+01:00

I created a new Website for the show I'm putting together. They'll be 8 of us in all exhibiting photographs on the 2nd of July in 13 North Great Georges Street, so check it out mofo's. It's gonna be deadly.

Oh yeah heres the website
This Is It Gallery
Hopes ya like it.

My New Photography Website

2010-04-30T03:36:00.002+01:00

Look out your window there might be swine in the sky.
Its Official I've gotten off my lazy ass and made a flash website for my photography. The lovely Paddy graces the front page and I've a miss mash of other work in the portfolio section.

iPhoneography

2010-03-09T01:35:00.006Z

Apres Ever After

2010-03-08T22:50:00.005Z

Apres ever after from lorna o'brien on Vimeo.

If Jagermeister did holidays, they'd probably be the best holidays in the world.

Dirty Paddy

2009-12-01T20:20:00.009Z

This is my partner in grime after a hard days work.

From Lornas Distractions.

The Muppets sing Queens 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

2009-11-25T17:39:00.003Z

Epic!

More Fashion Fun

2009-11-20T19:18:00.012Z

Learning the "take my breathe away" method involves hairdryers. I reached a Photographers assistants mile stone and managed to take a light box apart without dislocating any fingers. It was a proud and more importantly painless moment.

From Fashion

Rob sets his hairdryer to Stunning.

Technically as Johnny's assistant i should of been helping him here.

Johnny looking Broody. The sap.

Turn around ninjas

2009-11-19T01:53:00.002Z

Dangling balls and Mullet with head lights.
You'll laugh till your tequilla shot shoots out your nose, I know cause I've done it.

Sweet bread and poached eggs and 1 public meltdown

2009-11-13T13:45:00.018Z

Sweet Bread
Its not really sweet bread, its cake, but as its for breakfast I'm gonna call it bread.
I find self deception the best method for ignoring weight gain such as fixing your weighing scales so you weigh the same as a super model or you could move to Mars. Interesting Mars Fact, Mars has 37.5% of the gravity that Earth has. This means that a 150-pound person on Earth would weigh only 57 pounds on Mars. Which would mean the average super model would just waft away and I would be the average supermodel. Wunderbar.
Anyway day dreams aside

Sweet Bread Ingredients:

2 cups plus 2 tablespoons sifted plain flour

1 teaspoon (2 grams) of baking powder

2 teaspoon (4 grams) of baking soda

90 grams of salted butter, softened
1/2 cup (64 grams) of granulated sugar or less depending on taste
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 large eggs, at room temperature
1 cup well-shaken buttermilk

Baking Instructions:

Preheat oven to 180, if fan assisted or Beelzebub brand preheat to 140. Butter an 8 inch cake/bread tin.
Sift Flour, baking powder and baking soda into separate batch
Add butter and sugar to a large bowl, beat into submission with electric whisk
Add in vanilla extract
Add egg, electric whisk set to warp speed
Add shaken buttermilk,
Use spatula to mix in
Add flour mix in two batches to mixture
Put into cake tin, I mean bread tin and spread evenly

Bake for 30-40 mins. Use a toothpick to pierce the centre, if it comes out clean its done, Leave to cool down for half an hour.

Poached Eggs,
I'm a recent convert to poached eggs. I don't know how they've managed to keep off my radar all this time. They're delicious. They are a wee bit tricky to make the first few times. Its not rocket science, but its close.

Things you will need

1 Pot
Some eggs
2 drams of vinegar or if you want to modern about it, a tablespoon.
Small container

Instructions in fantasy land

Boil water, just for you pedantics out there, In a pot.
Put in a tablespoon of vinegar. I use Malt, just because I had some left in the cupboard.
Crack egg open into small container
Stir water in pot, with a spoon people, its hot, until it forms a mini eddy
Drop in Egg.
Boil for 3 to 6 minutes depending on desired gooiness
Take out, dry with kitchen paper
Eat with sweet bread
Smile and maybe do a little dance of tastiness.
Sounds easy doesn't it?

Reality

Boil water and put in vinegar 'tick'
Crack egg into small container 'tick'
Stir water into a frenzy 'tick'
Drop egg into water

Watch egg disintegrate
Fish white gooey mess out and start again
Repeat steps
Except don't stir water as enthusiastically as before
Drop in egg
Watch egg break
Stop, look out kitchen window and scream

Some time later........

Use good pot
Boil water till there are only 4 or 5 bubbles reaching the surface
Put in exactly 3 teaspoons of white vinegar.... organic
Gently stir water till your getting about 20 rpm (rotations per minute)
Warm small container so egg will have gotten used to some heat before dropping it into the boiling water
Crack egg into warmed container
Say a novena
Place egg into water
Close eyes and promise your soul to the devil
Open eyes
Have monumental fit, scare cat out of kitchen, flail arms about and collapse on the floor, muttering to yourself, tears of frustrations and hunger running down your face.
Notice neighbour looking aghast stood outside gate staring into kitchen window
Wave to neighbour, smile meekly and point at pot as way of confused explanation, continue to mutter under your breath (try not to move your lips)

Go out and buy some more eggs
Finally give up and only do a half arsed job
Sorta boil water, lob in some vinegar or whatever
shake pot noncommittally, crack egg directly into water without looking
Sob quietly
Consider futility of existence
Wait 3 minutes
Create perfect poached egg
Pinch yourself
Run out into the street and dance for joy
Hug strangers.
Have the tastiest egg of your life
Nearly cry for all its simplicity
Warning: Poached egg residue could be used as a new form of concrete. Wash pots thoroughly after use to avoid psychological pot washing melt down later on. I genuinely had to use a steamer on one pot.

Thankfully my cat isn't fussy about egg consistency and gleefully ate all my monster creations.

Finally.....
Slice sweat Bread, spread with butter, add eggs with a sprinkle of parsley
Pour some tea into a tea cup.
Sit down and eat your breakfast............. 10 hours later for dinner.

Richie and his magic Board

2009-11-09T19:13:00.010Z

Richie Gilligan just had a great exhibition at PLANE/SITE Gallery on Tuesday which I'm still recovering from. The Belfast Blonde beer was dynamite. A fellow Newport and Sallynoggin graduate who also had the pleasure of living with me for a few years, (the poor unfortunate) was always taking about ramps and what not. And if he had listened to our tutor Joe Sterling, " Drop the skate thing Rich, it'll get you nowhere and whats with the wacky angles?",wouldn't have the career he has today. He is the most talented among us and if one more person says, "Oh you know Richie Gilligan, hes amazing", I'm going to start spreading malicious rumours about him. Really. Unless he gives me a print.

Update
He folded and gave me a beautiful print.

Cheap Thrills and Surprising Eruptions

2009-11-02T13:45:00.012Z

Well I've been loading the carousel with slides since Friday. The modern equivalent of your parents holiday slide show if you will. Except you don't have to pretend your enjoying it while sipping wine and eating vol au vonts in my front room, because now that the internet has been invented you can just pretend you've seen it.
Key Points to mention,
1. Submarine
2. Volcano
3. Scary naked screaming clown.
Sounds intriguing? In reality its just me, my cousin, lots of cats and some fish in Lanzarote. Oh and me giggling manically in every single clip and I edited..... heavily.
So here it is the shamelessly titled "Cheap Thrills and Surprising Eruptions".

Cheap thrills and Surprising Eruptions from lorna o'brien on Vimeo.

Okay so I lied about the clown, but surely that's a plus.

Death of a Flash mob

2009-10-10T17:42:00.010+01:00

Fionn Kidney of Spy's "Sound Check" organised the death of a flash mob on South William Street on thursday, looks like fun..... bleedin kids with their artistic opinions. Of course I don't really mean that, looks like fantastic craic. Well done to all the gang. Great pics and I love the video. Tolling the death bell of flash mobs in Dublin ia a bit premature if you ask me, never really kicked off over here like it did in other countries.

Raspberry, dark chocolate, almond cup cakes, topped with a strawberry.

2009-10-06T00:15:00.016+01:00

From Lornas Distractions.

Or as I like to call them Heaven.
Right as I've never written instructions to bake or anything at all for that matter, you'll have to bear with me on this one or not, its up to you, but if you can decipher the following recipe it tastes so good people will name their children after you. Its a mish-mash of several recipes I've ripped off, one from Smitten Kitchen which is nearly as good, but not child naming good. I've made it as easy as possible so you can whip them up like a dead celebrity media storm except with these you will actually produce something.
Right start off by leaving your butter out to soften rather than giving yourself tennis elbow trying to mix it into your flour.
If you have those handy cup measuring things it makes it as easy as pie, yeah I went there, a bad pun cause I roll that way.

Cupcake Ingredients:

2 cup (280 grams) Plain flour
1 teaspoon (2 grams) Baking powder
1 teaspoon (2 grams) Baking soda
120 grams Butter, softened
2 cups (280 grams) Sugar
1 teaspoon pure Vanilla extract
1 teaspoon Lemon extract
2 large Eggs
1 cup (240ml) well-shaken Buttermilk
2oo grams of Lindt orange chocolate (or favourite alternative)
1/2 cup (120ml) of peeled and chopped Almonds (or favourite alternative)
1 punnet of Strawberries
1 cup fresh Raspberries or a nice handful, if you have particularly large hands that people have commented on, maybe just take half a mug of raspberries or as Raspberries are ridiculously priced in Ireland I use
1 can of Raspberries in juice

Icing Ingredients:

1/2 cup of Royal Icing sugar
Remaining Raspberry juice

Baking Instructions:

Get a big Bowl, so it doesn't go everywhere when you accidentally set your mixer on high and redecorate your kitchen. Preheat fan assisted oven to 160 Celsius. My oven was made in the fire pits of Hades so I usually put it around 120 Celsius, you should too if your Oven is marked somewhere with 666.

Dump in Sugar and Eggs and then Butter, beat till fluffy with an electric whisk or if you want to work on your biceps by all means use a hand whisk.
Add in Vanilla and Lemon extract.
Add half of your Flour and Buttermilk.
Whisk till it has a nice consistency.
Add in the other half of your Flour and Buttermilk,
Add Baking soda and Baking powder
Whisk till smooth.
Slowly add in half a tin of Raspberry juice with spoon.
Add Chocolate
Add Almonds.
Use spoon and fold in fresh Raspberries.

Spoon in reusable cases or normal bun holders and put on baking tray.
Stick in oven at 160 Celsius for 12-15 mins, depending on oven.
I personally spend the last 3 mins hovering by the oven door and checking they're not burning. Use a toothpick to pierce the centre of one cupcake, if it comes out clean its done, Leave to cool down for half an hour.

Meanwhile.
Icing hell.
Use remaining juice from Raspberry tin and slowly hand whisk in Royal icing sugar. Then use an electric whisk for 8 minutes on high.......
Start to lose mind after 2 mins and try and prop whisk on toaster......
Clean up pink raspberry flavoured icing from ceiling, floors and clothes and convince self that it will be worth it.
Start again.
Realise if the theory of relativity holds true, Royal Icing could be the densest substance in the universe. Ponder this while wishing you had invested in a self standing mixer.

Cupcakes should be cooled down by the time Icing Sugar has reached a desired consistency, lets face it the universe has cooled down by the time it reaches desired consistency.

Take Cupcakes out of bun holders or not, whatever, I'm not your parents.
Spoon precious Icing on buns. Let dry for another Millenia .
Cut Strawberries in half and pop on top.
Ta daa!!
Put on pretty plate.
Take picture.
Eat.
Oh it makes 16 or so, depending on size of bun holders, if people have commented on your bun holders, well good for you.

Birthdays and Love

2009-10-05T17:56:00.010+01:00

It was my lovely mans birthday last week, we're growing old disgracefully together. Maybe. No really we are. Perhaps. Anyways (silly voices in my head) I made him a wee card, something I do most years, depending on mood and half baked ideas I might have. Well after 11 years together, you wouldn't even get that for murder nowadays, I think this sums it up perfectly.

And the inside....

Go on admit it, you scrunched your shoulders in cuteness didn't you? No! You rolled your eyes...... you have no heart.

The Godfather and my memory.

2009-10-05T17:07:00.010+01:00

Last week I went to see the Godfather and the Blues Brothers on the big screen, having missed it thanks to my father not even having a twinkle in his eye when they were released the first time round. No doubt he was off partying, blissfully unaware of what kind of child he was about to inflict on the world.

Now as you may or may not know I have a very bad memory, epically so. Its also selective, so I can fool myself into thinking I remember said event/book/film/person when in fact I haven't. In short its a problem and causes many confusing conversations, sometimes arguments and vigorous questioning from government bodies.

But convincing myself that I had seen the Godfather and engaging in many conversations and voicing strong opinions about it, seems a tad worrying. Especially as its nothing like I thought it was. I wouldn't mind, but it was a good hour into the film when I thought to myself 'Christ I've never seen this". Its been parodied and emulated in so many skits/films and books that I was utterly sure that I had. For a start at nearly 3 hours long, I'm sure my ass would of giving me remembered warnings about sitting in a cinema seat for so long.

I know people are going to think I'm crazier than I actually am for saying this, but what the hell is with the extended wedding scene, did Francis Ford Coppola not have an editor at hand, was he been paid by the hour? Perhaps my attention span is somewhat lacking, but Christ almighty people it just went on and on. I wouldn't like to watch my own wedding video for that long. Sure its supposedly a masterpiece, yes I said supposedly because as much as I enjoyed it I didn't think the cinematography or the story was that outstanding. Its no E.T. people. Maybe I just bigged it up in my mind. It was funnier than I thought it would be though.

On the other hand the Blues Brothers is as good as I remembered....... I think.

Obsession of the week.

2009-10-05T16:23:00.005+01:00

David Mitchell's Soap Box Podcasts.
David Mitchell has me chortling manically to myself in the Dole queue, at least I have a reason now. Whens the last time you heard "worth the candle" used in a sentence or indeed ever? It's these little verbal nuances used in conjunction with ranting that I truly love. Oh to be paid to rant, I would be worth a fortune. Even though he's not particularly fond of the Irish, that fact just makes me disappointed rather that angry, I like him that much.

That line of thought got me to thinking about why some peoples transgressions or moral viewpoints can be over looked simply because they're charming or funny. Would we fondly remember Hitler if he had been a bit of a joker?, probably not, but just look at John Belushi's eyebrow raise. I'm sure that got him out of a lot of scrapes. Although I doubt the Ayatollah Khomeini will have as much luck in the history books.

Conviction or whatever..

2009-09-23T00:19:00.003+01:00

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

Misspent Dotage

2009-09-22T01:26:00.012+01:00

From my birthday night which I 'm renaming the Colander of Dreams night for reasons that will become very apparent upon viewing the video. You would think at my age I would know more sensible people. Thank you to Gareth and Mick for endless material and for Richie's sweet rendition of 'Summer nights'. I'm sure my neighbours thank you too.

Misspent Dotage from lorna o'brien on Vimeo

Colander for an Oscar

It's finally official, Kanye West is a jackass.

2009-09-20T18:27:00.011+01:00

I hope Kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayzees funeral. "Don't worry I'm gonna let you finish, but Michael Jackson had one of the greatest deaths of all time."
What a gobshite, sorry I mean Jackass. It has started one of the funniest crazes of all time though.

Temptation- The Marshmellow test.

2009-09-19T01:30:00.003+01:00

Deferred gratification or delayed gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This ability is usually considered to be a personality trait which is important for life success.

Oh, The Temptation from Steve V on Vimeo.

I'm the kid who just stuffs it in her mouth.

Quitting the cigs.

2009-09-18T19:46:00.009+01:00

I'm on day 3 of quitting cigarettes, my friend dragged me down to the shops to buy some nicotine gum, apparently leaving indentations on the kitchen table with your nails is not normal behaviour...... watch out for crazy lady stories in your local newspaper.

In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.

In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal. (Tension levels however will not)

In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level. ( You are willing to sell your soul for one last cigarette)

In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase. (Everything begins to look like giant cigarettes, you only realise this when you burn yourself trying to light the cat)

In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks. (You discover you have more room in your hand bag for other crap)

In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%. (You will become an insufferable ex-smoker preaching about the merits of your new healthy lifestyle)

In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half. (Does this count if you have the odd drunken drag?)

In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.

In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.

In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker. ('15 YEARS!!! Bloody non smokers'.....mutter mutter, storms off, slams door,lights up cigarette, takes a long lingering drag and a loud sigh of relief can be heard for miles around)

Atrollcious

2009-09-18T19:08:00.006+01:00

Trolls 2
My friend is having a crap movie night every Thursday in Spy ...And what better film than Trolls 2 to celebrate his birthday. A film that has nothing to do with Trolls 1, written by a bunch of Italians with circumspect English, a story line of nonsensical epic proportions, there are NO trolls, the people wearing paper-mache masks are goblins and the saviour of the day is a bologna sandwich. Its truly marvelous.

More crapness every week in Spys soundcheck.
http://www.facebook.com/soundcheckdublin

Quote
Joshua: A double-decker bologna sandwich!
Creedence: Aaahhh! Think about the cholesterol! Think about... THE TOXINS...!

Lovely gurls.

2009-09-18T16:08:00.012+01:00

11 models, 2 days, 20 set ups and a few hundred cups of coffee later, I finished assisting Johnny Savage who is becoming quite the man about town snapping the lovely ladies. I think the wind machines and buckets of icy water has turned him to the dark side.
Here he is in action.......

Its Recession Sunday

2009-09-06T14:42:00.013+01:00

Its raining and my mind is on the Budget. So to save myself from jumping in the Liffey and swimming for financial freedom, I thought I would search the Internet for some lighthearted views and artistic representations of our Boom gone Bust.

Here's my Top 5

Numero 5
Lost Kitty
Numero 4
Celtic Kitty's found..... Brian Lenihan last seen in the area with a rifle.
No doubt Bertie will be around later to skin and wear it.

Numero 3

Numero 2

And Numero 1

And just to cheer you up... remember how it used to be? Perhaps we'll all be better off living in our cardboard boxes.

The Mill

2009-08-20T19:55:00.023+01:00

The Mill by David Freyne. I was offered to shoot stills for a short film. It was a eye opening experience for me, the time, the effort, the rain, the waiting around..... more waiting and then maybe a little more standing around, followed by yet more sitting around. Thank god they were a lovely cast and crew. I only did 3 days on the short and I was exhausted, how do they manage for months at a time I'll never know..... getting paid probably helps.

Skiing,

2009-08-20T19:36:00.008+01:00

Imagine your skiing for the first time and your friends bring you up the side of a mountain, you get in gondola after gondola until you reach the top, there's a massive storm and you have to ski down. Yes I had a minor break down, but it was worth the several rum infused hot chocolates I treated myself to afterward and the light through the blizzard. Very pretty personal apocalypse. Thanks to Gar for talking me down with kindly words of encouragement, very unlike Gar, perhaps an oxygen deprived environment is what you need. SO what is the deal with Skiing anyway? Is it the night life or the cold wet snow mashing into your head as you career out of control? Thoughts? Anyone? I'm talking to myself here aren't I? Hellooooooooo ..........echo echo, quick look over my shoulder, Starts twirling around, "the hills are alive with the sound of music...la la la la...With songs they have sung for a thousaaaaaa......", Notices a little sniggering from a darkened corner. Skulks off, head hung low.

Pottering and Old Prints

2009-08-20T18:07:00.006+01:00

During one of the many days I spent reorganizing and sorting through old junk , what my boyfriend likes to call pottering or wasting vast amounts of time instead of looking for a job, I found these old wood cut prints from my art college days. How long ago those days were I wouldn't like to say, lets just say the clothes are coming back into fashion. It gave me the inspiration to start painting again, now that I have all the time in the world and heady arty aspirations. The above aren't exactly fantastic, but I still like them. Just to give you an idea of my standards my latest work wouldn't look out of place in a creche, colouring in the lines is a specialty though. So watch this space for more average work winging its way on to my blog.

Distractions.

2009-08-20T17:08:00.000+01:00

Well what can I say, 6 months of unstructured unpaid days, otherwise known has unemployment has reintroduced me to my creative side. So unchained from my desk as a photo editor I've started painting, baking, gardening and even taking the odd pic or two. And damn I wanna have a record so if I ever get back into a mortgage relief program (j0b) I can look back and think well I didn't completely waste my time. Weekends away drinking will not be included...... well maybe or else it will look too patchy.